‘”What you see is what you get” these women said about themselves. For me lying created just the right amount of problems and what you saw was just one of my four or five faces – each real, each with different needs.’
‘You had to withstand a profound sense of wrongness if you ever wanted to get somewhere new. ‘
‘I should have a lover, sure, but also other specialised relationships – someone who I only cried with, someone for mutual back-scratching, artistic pilgrimages; I could be the part-time child or pet of a lonely adult, how interesting for both of us – and each of these people could be anyone, from any walk of life. I had always done this kind of thing but in secrecy […], or in my work (harmless make-believe) or while belittling myself [what a kook!] when really this was no trifling matter. A person with a journeying, experimental soul should be living a life that allowed for it.’
‘I tried to imagine a woman just like me but without secrets. Unapologetic. Would such a woman be acceptable or we she be cast out like a witch?’
‘He didn’t understand that you could create a world – a fantasy, a nightmare – and bring other people into it, not just artistically but in life. I was pretty good at getting people to meet me in my mind, but ultimately no one wanted to stay there.’
